Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Why are So Many Modern British Career Women Converting to Islam?

Why are So Many Modern British Career Women Converting to Islam?
Tony Blair’s sister-in-law announced her conversion to Islam last weekend. Journalist Lauren Booth embraced the faith after what she describes as a ‘holy experience’ in Iran. 
She is just one of a growing number of modern British career women to do so. Here, writer EVE AHMED, who was raised as a Muslim before rejecting the faith, explores the reasons why.

Rejecting her faith: Writer Eve Ahmed was raised a Muslim
Much of my childhood was spent trying to escape ­Islam. 
Born in London to an English mother and a ­Pakistani Muslim father, I was brought up to follow my father’s faith without question. 
But, privately, I hated it. The minute I left home for university at the age of 18, I abandoned it altogether. 
As far as I was concerned, being a Muslim meant hearing the word ‘No’ over and over again. 
Girls from my background were barred from so many of the things my English friends took for granted. Indeed, it seemed to me that almost anything fun was haram, or forbidden, to girls like me. 
There were so many random, petty rules. No whistling. No chewing of gum. No riding bikes. No watching Top Of The Pops. No wearing make-up or clothes which revealed the shape of the body. 
No eating in the street or putting my hands in my pockets. No cutting my hair or painting my nails. No asking questions or answering back. No keeping dogs as pets, (they were unclean). 
And, of course, no sitting next to men, shaking their hands or even making eye contact with them.
These ground rules were imposed by my father and I, therefore, assumed they must be an integral part of being a good Muslim. 
Small wonder, then, that as soon as I was old enough to exert my independence, I rejected the whole package and turned my back on Islam. After all, what modern, liberated British woman would choose to live such a life? 
Well, quite a lot, it turns out, including Islam’s latest surprise convert, Tony Blair’s sister-in-law Lauren Booth. And after my own break with my past, I’ve followed with fascination the growing trend of Western women choosing to convert to Islam. 
Broadcaster and journalist Booth, 43, says she now wears a hijab head covering whenever she leaves home, prays five times a day and visits her local mosque ‘when I can’.

She decided to become a Muslim six weeks ago after visiting the shrine of Fatima al-Masumeh in the city of Qom, and says: ‘It was a Tuesday evening, and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy.’ 
Before her awakening in Iran, she had been ‘sympathetic’ to Islam and has spent considerable time working in Palestine. ‘I was always impressed with the strength and comfort it gave,’ she says. 
How, I wondered, could women be drawn to a religion which I felt had kept me in such a lowly, submissive place? How could their experiences of Islam be so very different to mine? 

Convert: Lauren Booth, who is Cherie Blair's half sister, decided to convert to Islam after what she described as a holy experience in Iran

According to Kevin Brice from ­Swansea University, who has specialised in studying white conversion to Islam, these women are part of an intriguing trend. 
He explains: ‘They seek spirituality, a higher meaning, and tend to be deep thinkers. The other type of women who turn to Islam are what I call “converts of convenience”. They’ll assume the trappings of the religion to please their Muslim husband and his family, but won’t necessarily attend mosque, pray or fast.’
I spoke to a diverse selection of white Western converts in a bid to re-examine the faith I had rejected.
Women like Kristiane Backer, 43, a London-based former MTV presenter who had led the kind of liberal Western-style life that I yearned for as a teenager, yet who turned her back on it and embraced Islam instead. Her reason? The ‘anything goes’ permissive society that I coveted had proved to be a superficial void.
Changing values: Camilla Leyland, 32, pictured in Western and Muslim dress, converted to Islam in her mid-20s for 'intellectual and feminist reasons'
The turning point for Kristiane came when she met and briefly dated the former Pakistani cricketer and Muslim Imran Khan in 1992 during the height of her career. He took her to Pakistan where she says she was immediately touched by spirituality and the warmth of the people.
Kristiane says: ‘Though our relationship didn’t last, I began to study the Muslim faith and eventually converted. Because of the nature of my job, I’d been out interviewing rock stars, travelling all over the world and following every trend, yet I’d felt empty inside. Now, at last, I had contentment because Islam had given me a purpose in life.’
‘In the West, we are stressed for super­ficial reasons, like what clothes to wear. In Islam, everyone looks to a higher goal. Everything is done to please God. It was a completely different value system. 
'In the West, we are stressed for super­ficial reasons, like what clothes to wear. In Islam, everyone looks to a higher goal. Everything is done to please God'
'Despite my lifestyle, I felt empty inside and realised how liberating it was to be a Muslim. To follow only one god makes life purer. You are not chasing every fad.
‘I grew up in Germany in a not very religious Protestant family. I drank and I partied, but I realised that we need to behave well now so we have a good after-life. We are responsible for our own actions.’ 
For a significant amount of women, their first contact with Islam comes from ­dating a Muslim boyfriend. Lynne Ali, 31, from Dagenham in Essex, freely admits to having been ‘a typical white hard-partying teenager’. 
She says: ‘I would go out and get drunk with friends, wear tight and revealing clothing and date boys.
‘I also worked part-time as a DJ, so I was really into the club scene. I used to pray a bit as a Christian, but I used God as a sort of doctor, to fix things in my life. If anyone asked, I would’ve said that, generally, I was happy living life in the fast lane.’ 
But when she met her boyfriend, Zahid, at university, something dramatic happened. 
She says: ‘His sister started talking to me about Islam, and it was as if ­everything in my life fitted into place. I think, underneath it all, I must have been searching for something, and I wasn’t feeling fulfilled by my hard-drinking party lifestyle.’

Liberating: Kristiane Backer says being a Muslim makes her life purer
Lynne converted aged 19. ‘From that day, I started wearing the hijab,’ she explains, ‘and I now never show my hair in public. At home, I’ll dress in normal Western clothes in front of my husband, but never out of the house.’
With a recent YouGov survey ­concluding that more than half the ­British public believe Islam to be a negative influence that encourages extremism, the repression of women and inequality, one might ask why any of them would choose such a direction for themselves. 
Yet statistics suggest Islamic conversion is not a mere flash in the pan but a significant development. Islam is, after all, the world’s fastest growing religion, and white adopters are an important part of that story. 
‘Evidence suggests that the ratio of Western women converts to male could be as high as 2:1,’ says Kevin Brice. 
Moreover, he says, often these female ­converts are eager to display the ­visible signs of their faith — in particular the hijab — whereas many Muslim girls brought up in the faith choose not to. 
‘Perhaps as a result of these actions, which tend to draw attention, white Muslims often report greater amounts of discrimination against them than do born Muslims,’ adds Brice, which is what happened to Kristiane Backer.
She says: ‘In Germany, there is Islamophobia. I lost my job when I converted. There was a Press campaign against me with insinuations about all Muslims supporting ­terrorists — I was vilified. Now, I am a ­presenter on NBC Europe. 
‘I call myself a European Muslim, which is different to the ‘born’ Muslim. I was ­married to one, a Moroccan, but it didn’t work because he placed restrictions on me because of how he’d been brought up. As a European Muslim, I question ­everything — I don’t accept blindly.
‘But what I love is the hospitality and the warmth of the Muslim community. London is the best place in Europe for Muslims, there is wonderful Islamic ­culture here and I am very happy.’ 
For some converts, Islam represents a celebration of old-fashioned family values.


Ex-MTV Presenter Kristiane Backer with Mick Jagger in the late Eighties
‘Some are drawn to the sense of belonging and of community — values which have eroded in the West,’ says Haifaa Jawad, a senior lecturer at the University of Birmingham, who has studied the white conversion phenomenon.
‘Many people, from all walks of life, mourn the loss in today’s society of traditional respect for the elderly and for women, for example. These are values which are enshrined in the Koran, which Muslims have to live by,’ adds Brice.
It is values like these which drew Camilla Leyland, 32, a yoga teacher who lives in Cornwall, to Islam. A single mother to daughter, Inaya, two, she converted in her mid-20s for ‘intellectual and feminist reasons’.
She explains: ‘I know people will be surprised to hear the words ­“feminism” and “Islam” in the same breath, but in fact, the teachings of the Koran give equality to women, and at the time the religion was born, the teachings went against the grain of a misogynistic society.

Escape route: Former DJ Lynne Ali is happy to pray five times a day
‘The big mistake people make is by confusing culture with religion. Yes, there are Muslim cultures which do not allow women individual freedom, yet when I was growing up, I felt more oppressed by Western society.’
She talks of the pressure on women to act like men by drinking and ­having casual sex. ‘There was no real meaning to it all. In Islam, if you begin a relationship, that is a ­commitment of intent.’
Growing up in Southampton — her father was the director of Southampton Institute of Education and her mother a home economics teacher — Camilla’s interest in Islam began at school.
She went to university and later took a Masters degree in Middle East Studies. But it was while living and working in Syria that she had a spiritual epiphany. Reflecting on what she’d read in the Koran, she realised she wanted to convert.
Her decision was met with bemusement by friends and family. 
‘People found it so hard to believe that an educated, middle-class white woman would choose to become Muslim,’ she says. 
While Camilla’s faith remains strong, she no longer wears the hijab in public. But several of the women I spoke to said strict Islamic dress was something they found empowering and liberating.  
Lynne Ali remembers the night this hit home for her. ‘I went to an old friend’s 21st birthday party in a bar,’ she reveals. ‘I walked in, wearing my hijab and modest clothing, and saw how ­everyone else had so much flesh on display. They were drunk, slurring their words and dancing provocatively.
‘For the first time, I could see my former life with an outsider’s eyes, and I knew I could never go back to that.

‘I am so grateful I found my escape route. This is the real me — I am happy to pray five times a day and take classes at the mosque. I am no longer a slave to a broken society and its expectations.’ 
Kristiane Backer, who has written a book on her own spiritual journey, called From MTV To Mecca, believes the new breed of modern, independent Muslims can band together to show the world that Islam is not the faith I grew up in — one that stamps on the rights of women. 
She says: ‘I know women born Muslims who became disillusioned an d rebelled against it. When you dig deeper, it’s not the faith they turned against, but the culture. 
'Rules like marrying within the same sect or caste and education being less important for girls, as they should get married anyway —– where does it say that in the Koran? It doesn’t. 
‘Many young Muslims have abandoned the “fire and brimstone” version they were born into have re-discovered a more spiritual and intellectual approach, that’s free from the cultural dogmas of the older generation. That’s how I intend to spend my life, showing the world the beauty of the true Islam.’ 
While I don’t agree with their sentiments, I admire and respect the women I interviewed for this piece. 
They were all bright and educated, and have thought long and hard before choosing to convert to Islam — and now feel passionately about their adopted religion. Good luck to them. And good luck to Lauren Booth. But it’s that word that sums up the difference between their experience and mine — choice.
Perhaps if I’d felt in control rather than controlled, if I’d felt empowered rather than stifled, I would still be practising the religion I was born into, and would not carry the burden of guilt that I do about rejecting my father’s faith.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Can men and women shake hands together?

Shake Hands With Women?
What's the Problem?
Praise be to Allaah.  
Question: Can men and women shake hands together?
NOTE : Respect of women and their rights to their own body and whether or not they allow men to touch them is at the very core of this answer. Keep in mind, Allah is the one who knows best what he has created and what the needs and limits are for each of us.
Shaking hands (and touching) members of the opposite sex when closely related, is not permissable for Muslims according to the teachings of Islam.
Why?
This is to discourage physical contact which could lead to familiarity that is unwarranted or undesired by the lady. It could also be the initial cause for desire within the man.
Is it only Islam that has a problem?
Actually, men shaking hands with women was not totally accepted by society even in the United States less than one hundred years ago.
Unless it was through proper introduction and the woman had first extended her hand toward the gentleman it was considered improper for a man to extend his hand if the lady had not offered hers.
Additionally, it was only expected the man would hold only the tips of her fingers, while lowering his gaze.
Check it out for yourself and see how much society has deviated away from some of the very basic principles in social interaction between males and females.
Answer - First: It is not allowed for a believing man to put his hand in the hand of a woman who is not allowed for him (mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc.). Whoever does this has wronged himself (sinned).
There is a hadeeth (narration of an event) from Ma'qil ibn Yassar, saying; The prophet, peace be upon him said, "It is better for you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible to you."[At-Tabarani in "Al Kabir, #486. Shaikh Albani said in Sahih al-Jaami' it is sahih #5045]
This alone should be enough to keep away from this action and to instill obedience to Allah, as it implies touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.
Ayesha, the wife of the prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'When the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the prophet, peace be upon him, they would be examined in accordance with the words of Allah (in Quran):
"O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the bai'a (pledge of allegience), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands), and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that which Islam ordains) then accept their bai'a (pledge of allegience), and ask Allah to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful".
[Al Mumtahinah 60:12]
Any of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for giving their oaths of allegiance. When they declared their committment to do so, the prophet, peace be upon him, would say to them, "You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."I swear by Allah, the prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration. I swear by Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally.
(Sahih Al Muslim Book on Government, Hadtih #4602)

Ayesha said: 'Any of the believing women who agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed, the prophet, peace be upon him, said to them: 'Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.' "No. (I swear) by Allah, the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman; instead they would give their oath of allegiance with words only."
And Ayesha said: 'By Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman. When he had received their oath of loyalty and allegiance he would say, 'I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally."[Sahih Muslim, #1866]
(The prophet of Allah, peace be upon him) did not touch women who were not permissible (shaking hands, etc.). This despite the fact the oath of allegiance was orginally given by hand. So what about these other men (going around shaking hands)?
Umaymah bint Raqeeqah said: 'The prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (not permissible to touch)."
[An-Nasaai, #4181 and Ibn Majah, #2874; Albani declared it sahih; Al Jami, #2513]
Second:
It's not permissable to shake hands even with a barrier (such as a garment) in between. There is an unacceptable narration (da'eef; not authentic) saying the prophet, peace be upon him, used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.
(see: At-Tabarani in Al-Awsat, #2855). Al Haythami said: 'This was narrated by At-Tabarani in Al Kabir and Al Awsat. The chain of narrators includes 'Atab ibn Harb, who is da'eef (weak in narrations).
[Majam' al-Zawad'id, 6/39]
Wali Ad-Din Al Iraqi said: 'The words of Ayesha, "He used to accept the women's oath by words only" means he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates the bay'ah (oath) of men was accepted by shaking hands, as well as words, and this is how it was. What Ayesha mentioned was the custom.'
Some mufassireen (type of scholar) mentioned the prophet, peace be upon him, asked for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a cloak from Qatar over his hand. And it was said 'Umar, may Allah accept from him, shook hands with them on his behalf.
None of these reports are true, especially the last one. How could 'Umar, may Allah accept from him, have done something the prophet, peace be upon him, would not do?
[Tarh Al-Tathreeb, 7/45]
Sheikh Abdulaziz ibn Baz (Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabi, d. May, 1999), Allah's Mercy on him), said:
'The most correct view is this (shaking women's hands with something in between) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadith, wherein the prohet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (who are not related)" in order to avoid the way leading to evil.
[Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo'at Rasal'il fil Hijab wa Sufor, p. 69]
Third:
The same rule applies to shaking hands with older women; it is also forbidden due to the general meaning of the texts on the issue. The reports saying it is permissible are weak (da'eef).
Al-Zayla'i said:
'As for the report saying Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is ghareeb (strange in its chain of narrators, not acceptable in this case).
[Nasab Al-Rayah, 4/240]
Ibn Hajar said: 'I cannot find this hadeeth."
[Al-Dirayah fil Takhreej Al Hadith al-Hidayah, 2/225]
Fourth:
[We now list the opinions of the four schools of jurisprudence (mathabs)]:
With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:
1 - Hanafiya (Abu Hanifa) The Hanafi madhhab:
Ibn Nujaym said: 'It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman's face or hands even when there's no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity to allow it.'
[Al-Bahr al-Raa'iq, 8/219]
2 - Maliki (Imam Malik) The Maaliki madhhab:
Muhammad ibn Ahmad ('Ulaysh) said: 'It's not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman (not related), and it is not permissilbe for him to his hand on hers without a barrier. Ayesha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 'The prophet, peace be upon him, never accepted a woman's oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; instead he would accept their oath of alleginace in words alone.'
According to another report: 'His hand never touched the hand of a woman, instead he would accept their oath of allegiance with words alone.'
[Manh Al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223]
3 - Shafiy (Imam Muhammad ibn Idris Ash-Shafi) Shafi Mathab:
Imam Al-Nawawi (author of Al-Arba'een and Riyadus Salahin) said, "It is not permitted to touch a woman (not properly related) in any way.
[Al Majmoo' 4/515]
Wali A-Din Al-Iraqi said, 'This indicates the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, did not touch the hand of any woman except for those permissible to him, whether in the case of accepting their oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he didn't do it in spite of the fact he was far above suspicion, then it is even more essential for others to heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts he didn't do it because it was forbidden for him to do so.
The fuqaha (scholars of jurisprudence) among our companions and others say it is forbidden to touch a non-mahram (not properly related) woman even if it is touching any part of her body that is not a part of her 'awrah (private area between the navel and the knees), such as her face.
But their differences of opinon occured regarding looking (at them) when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah (serious calamity). The prohibition of touching is stronger even than the prohibition of looking, and it is forbidden when there is no necessity to allow it. In the case of necessity, such as medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, if there is no woman available to do provide the treatment, then it is allowed for a man to do it because of the necessity.
[Tarh At-Tathreeb 7/45 #46]
4 - Hanbali (Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal) Hanbali Mathab
Ibn Muflih said about Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, that he was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. His answer was, 'No' and it was emphatically forbidden. When he was asked about shaking hands having some cloth in between he said, 'No'.
Shaikh Taqiy ul-Din also held the view it was prohibited and gave the reason, touching is more serious than looking.Al-Adaab al-Shari'ah, 2/257
And Allahu 'Alim (Allah is the All-Knower)